Ice Ice Baby…

Hump Day Wednesday! It’s time to read this after the kiddies are sweetly tucked away in bed.

Girl Talk turns to a few ways to stay cool when it’s hot in the sanctuary of love. Just cause the temperatures outside match the heat between you and your lover doesn’t mean it’s time to call off the play. Get creative! Here are some ideas.

Tried and True: Become a romantic starving artist and trace the contours, hills and valleys of your mate’s body.  Warm up the path of cool water left behind with your tongue.  Remember not to leave an ice cube in one spot for too long. This isn’t a polar plunge.

Nostalgic: Menthol has a cooling effect. Sucking on a mint gives a little arctic blast in your mouth. Or suck on a Popsicle before kissing your loved one.  Explore some good old-fashioned making out sessions. Kissing is really a lost art. Tap into your arsenal of puckered lip affections to bestow on one lucky lover.  Spark up those stomach butterflies with some passionate kissing on a porch swing one evening.

Something Inventive: Chill marbles and use them as a massage tool. Rubbing them over your partner’s body more sensitive and fleshy areas. Follow up with kisses.

Skillful: Pull your object of desire into the shower or tub with you. Set the temperature to cool and let you body heat warm things up.

Zen like: Place a quiet fan to cool you as you get it on. Let it oscillate back and forth to create mutual chills.

Love Child: In private. Strip down and don just a daisy in your hair. Continue with whatever you want, read a book, fold the laundry, lay on the bed, tease your lover. Atleast you will be cool. 🙂

Don’t complain when the mercury rises. Think of it as an opportunity to break out of the norm and have some sassy fun!

Hugs & wishes,

Brenda

~~“It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.”~~

–Marilyn Monroe

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Shop Talk…Lady’s BFF in the Bedroom

It has many names. Momma’s “back”  massager, Ole Faithful, Johnny Deep, The Thor-gasm, Earl the Pearl and Pookey’s fav tip of the hat – B.o.B. (battery operated boyfriend). Pet names for our vibrators; those valiant objects that stand at the ready for our pleasures. We are very protective of our personal love slaves. Hundreds of selection to entrust our every possible climatic whim. Women tend to not bring up their vibrator stories amongst other ladies; even their best girlfriends. We enshroud our battery operated rockets in clandestine fashion. Hiding them under the bed, in a drawer, between the mattresses away from sight. One of my favorite episodes from the HBO series “Sex and the City” was gregarious Samantha offering unwarranted vibrator advice in a sex store. Her classic one liner shows how much we need to feel free to talk about our vibrator lovers, ” Oh Honey, that one will burn your cl*t off!” Although sex is a very personal and private act, whether between a lover or a vibrator, we as women need to be allowed a chance to talk about the experience. To educate each other on a absolutely incredible journey of self-expression and discovery. I recently attended a more expensive sex toy line party for ladies.  Our host was honest and open about her choices. There was laughter and giggles as we passed around the devices. Quietly small conversations started up over a toy of choice. Some techie, “How long is the battery life?” Some conscientious, “I like that the batteries are rechargeable.” “I can’t wait to get home and charge my new toy up!”, profoundly to the point. As a participant and observer to these little focus groups I thought… this is healthy feminism. We were all at different places in our lives with different reasons for our purchases but felt comfortable to just talk about it. Free. Expressive. Light hearted. Women.

Several great places besides seedy sex shops to purchase a vibrator. In fact buy more than one. Variety of style and shape are okay in this case.

Some lingerie boutiques carry sex toy lines. Many are not allowed to advertise such “contraband” so use your detective skills to see if they sell female friendly pleasure devices.  FFPD.

Also great sites online. Adam & Eve – adameve.com; Vibrators. com, Jimmyjane.com (vibrators abstract enough to be in an art museum. Think I’m kidding?)

Hug & wishes,

Brenda

~~ “Carrie: I’m not going to replace a man with some battery-operated device.

Miranda: You haven’t met “The Rabbit.”

Samantha: Oh come on, if you’re going to get a vibrator, at least get one called “The Horse”!”~~

“Sexy and the City” HBO series


The “O” roller coaster…Yiiipppppeee!

At first you might look at the pic to the left and say, “That person is nuts!” Really? Cause that road map is exactly what many women have to go through to orgasm. Sometimes just once. Finally, medical research is back looking into sexual health for…women. Thank you! Right now research shows women distressed with sexual dysfunction at an alarming 43%. That’s covering all ages of sexually active women. Scary! A much higher percentage than the 31% for men. Maybe the research is not focusing on the right stuff. It’s pretty easy to physically see what is going up (or down) with men when it comes to arousal. Women it’s harder. And as Pookey says, “Women take an A-Z road on getting off. Sometimes you can speed talk your way through. Sometimes it’s like time stands still.” Change the age group of ladies to over 40 and the percentage suffering from sexual dysfunction jumps to over half. Additional medical reasons can stunt a gal’s road map to climax. Some surprised me. Hormonal imbalances of estrogen and testosterone, high blood pressure, diabetes, hysterectomy, prior pelvic surgeries, high cholesterol, medications like anti-depressants to list a few. So the age old remedy cure of  lube may cover some physical deficits.But sex, most of the time, is more than that for us girls. And “honey, it’s all in your mind. You got to let go” might not fit a majority of women as well. Top it off with everything on TV, movies and print tells us that the only good orgasm is one where everyone on your block hears you just got laid. Afterwards “Ride of the Valkyries” by Wagner should proclaim your climatic triumph as you descend off your bedroom throne. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V92OBNsQgxU Hmmm…got my thinking there a minute… But that’s the wrong mindset. We are all built the same with little or bigger differences to our anatomy. So why should our moments of sexual release be limited to only one expression. The script from the “Vagina Monologues” has one particularly funny reference to the many ways women moan a great orgasm. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5FfVY-5Mcw&feature=player_embedded#at=19. Through humor we can see just how different women ride that “O” roller coaster. Don’t be ashamed if your response isn’t listed. Make it your own. Unique to your desires and your body. Hold on! Your in for a great ride on the “O” roller coaster!

Tips on a better sex life:

Be true to your sexual responses. There is no normal stereotype. If it doesn’t feel right. Don’t do it. You know your body best. Have sex for your reasons. Wham bam it or cuddle. Sex is great in that it offers us hundreds of ways to feel connected. With that thought keep a perspective on what you need out of sex. Be healthy with your reasons. And if you are doing it with a partner, include them on all of the above. Create a full circle connection. Happy Hump Day!

Hug & wishes,

Brenda

~~””Electric flesh-arrows…traversing the body. A rainbow of color strikes the eyelids. A foam of music falls over the ears. It is the gong of the orgasm.”~~

Anais Nin

Just Do It…

Hump Day! Time to get down to some serious girlfriend chat. Huddle in. Sure Nike has a timeless slogan working but did you know “doing IT” will make your brain grow? What?!? Yes, and I’m here to tell you why. Okay think of a roller coaster. It has high peaks and low valleys. An orgasm releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter, to give you the most legal high available. It’s the “drug” that gets you hooked. The low afterwards is the hormone called prolactin. It’s released after orgasm to give you that been satisfied feeling and gets you ready to do your daily business; stuff  like work, eating, sleep. Basically everything else besides having another orgasm. Otherwise we would just constantly boink to keep our dopamine high and perish. So here’s the really cool part. Prolactin hormones also gear up brain stem cells to generate new neurons. A key factor in warding off degenerative diseases like Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s. Whoa! So in theory the more sex you have that leaves you feeling satisfied, the more you help keep your brain healthy as you age. That’s just another reason why to just do IT!

Mix things up tonight in the love department! There are tons of reasons WHY to have sex with your partner. Make some fun foreplay and a double dose of brain stimulation with an adult word search or crossword game. Then as Marvin Gaye sang, “Let’s get it on!”

Hugs & wishes,

Brenda

~~ An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away~~

Mae West